Pick Your Poison...

Recently here in New York we have all seen the frozen yogurt chain Red Mango popping up on every street corner and maybe you too have wondered to yourself, “What’s the fundamental difference between Red Mango and Pinkberry?” Well let me tell you what I have personally found out the hard way…

Firstly, you must know that I am addicted to Pinkberry – absolutely, shamefully and wontedly addicted. I am convinced the reason Pinkberry keeps us coming back for more of their addictive yogurt is due to the fact that Pinkberry is laced with crack cocaine. I’m serious - they add crack… Come to think of it, this might account for the slightly chemical taste found in every delicious and addictive scoop. The worse part of it all is that I actually hide the fact I am addicted to this swirly white stuff from my entire family and all of my friends (the real sign of a junkie). I routinely make daily runs to Pinkberry locations far away from my own neighborhood for fear that I will be seen making a buy. The shame of it all…

Now this brings me to Red Mango. Yesterday curiosity got the better of this cat after attempting to visit my Pinkberry dealer which unfortunately had a line of gnarly junkies stretching well beyond the front door. Instead of waiting on this long line for fear of being found loitering outside, I decided to dash across the street to a Red Mango pop-up which sits caddy-corner to Pinkberry (for those of you whom have never heard the expression “caddy corner” it is an expression found in the urban lexicon and dictionary – but I digress). I must admit I am now persuaded to believe that Red Mango have strategically positioned themselves so close to Pinkberry for just this one reason – "to appropriate all of Pinkberry’s overflow".

Upon taking my first scoop of Red Mango topped with the exact treats I get from Pinkberry (Mochi and Chocolate Chips) I noticed that the Red Mango texture was slightly a bit creamier than its rival across the way. For a few wonderful drug induced moments I allowed myself to believe that just maybe I had discovered another untapped dealer. But this state of euphoria was to be short lived. After inhaling my freshly acquired fix and beginning the long walk of shame back towards home, I immediately began to feel a weird bubbling sensation in the pit of my stomach… Without going into any great details, all you need know is that shortly thereafter I painfully and regrettably discovered the difference between Pinkberry and Red Mango.

In a nutshell this in the fundamental difference between Pinkberry and Red Mango...

Pinkberry is definitely laced with crack cocaine and Red Mango is definitely laced with chocolate flavored Ex-Lax… Pick your poison.

This crack cocaine looks strangely like my favorite topping – Mochi



ExLax or Hershey's Chocolate

In conclusion, I ask one thing of my fond readers - If anyone knows of a Pinkberry Rehabilitation Center opening soon in the New York City area please sign me up!!! They say that Rehab is chic these days…

The Pinkberry Success Story